Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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