it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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