just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I have feelings that need drinking.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
