at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
