so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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