WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
