I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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