I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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