was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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