i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize