it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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