plz talk dirty to me
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
my penis made a compromise with my morals
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
