I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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