God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
