like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
