I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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