I think scott just propositioned me for sex
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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