remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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