my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
