Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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