I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I wish i was in the wii world.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
