We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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