If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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