Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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