unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
