Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
