This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
