How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
