your parents love me but you hate me
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
