You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
it's great music for shaving your balls
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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