What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
