how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
