I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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