she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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