Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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