She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
All the doctor said was why
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
