Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
two words: eviction party
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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