Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
