Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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