the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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