Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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