I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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