Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
