Porn is love you can see.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
there's paper in my vomit.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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