Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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