So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
