Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
it was like eating out sand paper
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
