just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Randomize
