i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
