True but thats because hes a fetus.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
