I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
