Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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