do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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