North Korea, Best Korea!
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I know her cup size but not her name....
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