i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
