before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
