Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
