if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
