His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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