Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
