You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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