I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize