It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
