Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Couch. On fire.
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