No stitches, just platelets and will power
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
