I wanna bring you to show and tell
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
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