She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize