i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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