Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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