Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Im part way to drunk.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
